I have officially moved my blog to wordpress. So join me at: http://epiphaticthoughts.wordpress.com/

I will be using this site to share pictures of my beautiful son :-) (maybe)

It’s 2012! I used to be the type to write out these elaborate New Years Resolutions but as I’ve gotten older the resolutions either seemed superfluous, unrealistic or just plain stupid LOL. Now that I’m 25 and about to embark on the journey of motherhood I realized one thing was obvious in my life that truly needed resolving and that was my FINANCES!!!

As a recent graduate with $86,000 in student loans and minor infractions here and there: 1 credit card, a bank charge off etc. I have no retirement money and my emergency fund is literally LAUGHABLE! I wouldn’t say that I’m living paycheck to paycheck (because I always have money left over after paying living expenses and a few other bills) but I wasn’t being completely smart with my money either.

There’s never a true way to prepare a baby unless you are already financially set. Most people just have to get in where they fit in with their finances and work baby around all of that. It’s going to take some time but my goal is to be debt free (minus student loans) but this time next year.

I just wanted to share some websites with you that have been assisting me on this journey to ‘financial freedom:’

1. LearnVest:This website is specifically for women. It is owned and operated by women. If you like Mint.com, then you will LOVE LearnVest. This site has the same budgeting capabilites, equipped with bootcamps and courses that can assist with whatever goals you have. For example, it’s tax time and they have an ‘Ace Your Taxes’ bootcamp. These bootcamps range from a couple days to 2 weeks etc. with tools to get you on the right track. All of this at NO COST TO YOU. Of course if you need more one-on-one assistance and have serious debt, you can pay for membership which will give you access to more extensive courses and your own financial planner. AMAZING right?!

2. Money Under 30: This blog, written by David Weliver, resonates with everything that I’ve been going through at 25 in a financial sense. Any questions that you’ve been wondering whether it’s career, retirement, real estate, credit cards; David has been through it. Through his personal stories and the stories of his subscribers, it’s easy to empathize and work through your own financial rut. His blog isn’t just personal/experience based but with references to other financial solutions.

There are a few more that I will share at a later date but these are the main two that I view at least everyday.

Here’s to financial freedom in 2012!

Kinda harsh I know, but I am LOL. Since the Christmas ‘false alarm’ I have felt no pain, no contractions or anything so I’ve maintained my normal routine. I’ve continued to attend water aerobics class, will be going back to work and still have some what of the energy I’ve had in my 2nd trimester, minus some of the napping I’ve been doing. Man those naps are HEAVEN! 

So why am I ready to evict him if I’ve been feeling so ‘wonderful’? I’m just tired of being pregnant. I’m tired of the frequent bathroom trips where only 2 tinkles come out, tired of the late night indigestion and tossing and turning, tired of this stuffy nose that came out of NO WHERE (no cold, no symptoms; just stuffed), tired of this vaginal soreness that feels like someone kicked me down there (oh yeah ish gets real). You’re probably like (especially if you have children) oh those are minor but they aren’t to me. Plus I just want to meet our little man. I feel like pregnancy has given me what it has to offer and there’s not too much more to ‘enjoy’ as everyone has been telling me. I think I’ve enjoyed enough. 

At this point I feel like I’m going to be pregnant FOREVER! When you first find out it’s like, ‘Wow 9 months, that’s a long time.’ But these 9 months have gone by super fast. Now it’s the new year and it seems like everyone that was due AFTER me has already had their baby. 

Come on little man…mommy wants her body back LOL well I really just want to kiss your cheeks :-)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Last Monday I was 37 weeks and full term! :-) Right about now I could go into a labor at ANY moment YIKES!!!! Just the thought scares me. Maybe not so much as the pain but where I’ll be when I go into labor. Will Revelle be home with me? Will I be out in public? Will I be driving when/if my water breaks? I just don’t want to be by myself or with a stranger either lol AWKWARD. 

This week I was fine. Had my weekly check up on Wednesday. I’m 1.5 cm dilated. Doc is encouraging us to SEX IT UP if we want to go into labor anytime soon. How motivating LOL. Then Christmas day…although Revelle and I decided not to celebrate Christmas (you know the gift giving, decorations, tree etc.) we did spend ample time with his family…the weirdness began. While driving from Baltimore to DC I basically had a cramp/Braxton Hicks contraction the entire 45 minute ride. And that joint was painful to the point where I was in tears. I just knew this couldn’t have been a Braxton Hicks. So I called the on-call doctor just to ease my mind and she stated that if they were more rhythmic for at least an hour, every 5 minutes, that I should come in. So naturally I got excited LOL. I had just packed my hospital bags that morning because I just had a distinct feeling that our day wasn’t going to go as planned. I called my mother and let her know what was going on and she told me to keep her posted just in case she had to get a rush flight out from Rochester to Baltimore. Needless to say, I didn’t have to go into the hospital, nor did my mother have to spend mega money to catch a flight. The day ended well with a nice dinner and full belly. 

3 more weeks to go! I have noticed that I’m getting impatient. Seems like everyone I know that was due in January a few days before or after me are having their babies…I’m ready to meet mine!!! GRRR!!! But I know it’s Rasheed’s show. I just hope we don’t have to yank him out of there LOL. :-)

I had my last HOO-RAA before becoming a mommy. One of my good friends from college got married on Friday in Jersey. And oh how happy I was to have attended such a BEAUTIFUL event!!!! But before the wedding details…

This week has been rather stressful with Revelle’s father being rushed to the hospital on Monday. He’s been going back and forth from here to PG; checking on his grandmother and father etc. Tuesday I started going to water aerobics class. OMG! I wish I had started going earlier and even more, I wish I was doing a water birth (next time). Classes are Tuesday and Thursday so I’ll continue going until I’m no longer physically able or go into labor. But as soon as I’m able, that will definitely be my post-pregnancy workout :-) Thursday I had a doctor’s appointment and found out I’m dilated 1 cm YIKES!!!! My guess is that the water aerobics class helped LOL. I know you can be dilated for weeks before you go into labor but I’m hoping Rasheed will be a Kwanzaa baby :-)

Today we toured the labor/delivery unit at the hospital. We were geeking the whole time but I’m glad that we went. It has definitely made things more real for us. Seeing the labor room, mother/baby recovery room, knowing the visiting procedures, parking etc. I also get to have 4 people in the room with me during delivery. I was glad to find out that my doula doesn’t count as one of the four so I have one more spot that’s open (if I choose to fill it).

So about this wedding! Can I just say it felt like we were on a TLC show or something. I was utterly amazed. My wonderful friend, Alyssa, was married this weekend in New Jersey. The wedding took place at a special events and catering facility called The Merion. The ambiance there was BEAUTIFUL. The outside had a cascading waterfall with complimentary valet parking. Once you walked inside it was absolutely stunning, the place was decortaed for the  holidays. It had a beautiful fountain, a large flowing staircase and so many other things I can’t remember. The event took place downstairs in a separate ceremony space. After the ceremony guests were escorted to a WONDERFUL cocktail hour with FOOD GALORE!!!! It honestly was a pregnant woman’s dream! There were so many different stations and an open bar that I received my tasty Shirley Temples from LOL. There was an Asian station, Italian station, taco station, seafood, cheese, crackers, fruit…everything you could think of. It was so much awesome food there was no way (I thought) we could eat a 4 course meal LOL. But boy was I wrong!

Dinner included a Cream of Chicken Florentine soup, Caesar salad, Raspberry Sorbet (to clean the palate) and a choice of Chicken Cardinale (chicken stuffed with crab, Salmon or Chateau Briand (a beef tenderloin). I had the chicken which was AWESOME…the cake was AWESOME and the dessert bar was AWESOME!!!! My two main cravings this entire pregnancy has been cannolis and tacos. And they had BOTH. I done died and went to heaven LOL. Revelle and I have been to 5 weddings between July and December and we have to say (we loved EVERYONE’S wedding) but this one TOOK THE PRIZE!!!! Best wedding of 2011. Great food, great music, great entertainment! Everything was great. At the end we rated all the weddings like they do on the show Four Weddings on TLC, it was hilarious.

But back to baby talk…

Tomorrow I’ll be 37 weeks and FULL TERM!!! The anticipation is killing me. Can’t wait to meet our little man! I swear he loves social events or at least I hope he does. He seems to be more active when we’re around crowds of people, so I hope that means he’ll be a social person and not a fussy rascal LOL. 

5 weeks to go and I’m starting to feel the pressure. MAJOR PRESSURE in my lower abdominal area. Sometimes it feels like his head is just pounding against my bladder. Then when I go to the bathroom it’s just a little tinkle LOL I get so mad at that tinkle like it was its fault LOL

Otherwise there are no further complaints. I find my body pillow to be my greatest relief when I go to sleep. And although they say sleeping on your left side helps with blood flow/circulation it seems that my right side is heaven for me 1.) because i’m closer to Revelle 2.) Rasheed conquers my left side. 

This week will mark exactly one month until my due date (Jan. 9th) but I have a distinct feeling that he’ll be here before then, hopefully before the new year but that’s wishful thinking. 

It’s getting down to the wire and we still don’t have the crib, we’re waiting for my family to purchase it. I just hope it gets here before he does. His room is also barely finished. I did begin washing some of his cute itty, bitty clothes though. 

Thinking about it now, I need to pack our hospital bag..there’s so much to do. UGH! We’ll get through it :-)

These past 2 weeks have been a growth of bellies LOL. I’m finally starting to actually FEEL pregnant. My appetite has gotten smaller and finding a comfortable position to sleep in is getting a tad bit more difficult :-( 

We attended a breastfeeding class on Thursday that made thing more real for us and even more excited. Revelle said he was geeking the whole time during class lol (love that man). We also had our Baltimore baby shower this weekend :-) small and intimate. It was very nice and exactly what we wanted. Revelle’s family came out and our Groove and Swing family and some friends were there as well. We got home and decided to start putting some things together like the swing, vibrating chair and bouncer. Now we just need some baby hangers and laundry detergent!

Also went to a doc’s appointment; she said his head is down and low and that she doesn’t seem e going past my due date LOL I’m really hoping he comes before the new year. Wishful thinking! We’ll see how this goes. Tomorrow I’ll be 35 weeks :-) It’s getting down to the wire! YIKES!!!

So this week I think my bf has really been nesting cause I definitely haven’t felt the effects of it yet LOL. We recently moved the beginning of October and the place was still looking like we just moved in yesterday in some areas. So with everything that we brought back from Rochester plus our own boxes I think he got tired of seeing everything everywhere. He was even getting a bit agitated, I think realizing that our son could come at any moment and we’re STILL not really ready for him to come home yet. All I know is that when I came home the other day, our son’s room (the 2nd bedroom), living and dining rooms were SPOTLESS!!! :-) GOTTA LOVE THAT MAN! (Thanks babe).

Today at 32 weeks and 4 days was our last ultrasound :-( but boy did we get an awesome pic :-)

Here’s Rasheed at about 20 or so weeks (I can’t remember) 

And here he is at 32 weeks and 4 days 

little smushy face lol

We can’t wait to meet and kiss his sweet little face :-)

He’s currently 4 lbs and growing perfectly!

Now we just have to find a pediatrician…YIKES! I feel behind task.

So I finally know what our little bundle of joy is…can I say ELATED!!!! But we’ll get to that in a sec. Last week was so busy! We had so much to do before getting on the road to my hometown of Rochester, NY (about a 6 hour drive from Baltimore). We were both super excited for the baby shower. I think I was more excited to just see my family and friends. My bf’s mom even came with us, which was even more of a special occasion because she got a chance to meet the rest of my clan (cousins, great aunts/uncles, family friends etc.) It was just an awesome time and an awesome scenic ride through the terrains of PA to get to da ROC lol

On August 30, Revelle and I were able to find out the sex of our child but I opted not to find out. EVERYONE and I mean everyone….thought I was crazy for not wanting to know; saying things like ‘Girl you are not gonna last.’ Or that I’m going to nag someone or Revelle in telling me and that NEVER happened. I was good with not knowing (maybe because in my heart of hearts I already knew). My bf was really good about keeping it together and decided to just say, ‘Baby’ when referring to our child. Both of our families were going crazy calling the Baby Shim, It, Sugarplum…all types of foolishness and wretchedness lol. The ultrasound tech even put the sex in an envelope for me and I stuck it in my pregnancy memory book and never peeked at it. I gave it to other people who wanted to know but never did I open it myself until after our baby shower. But here’s the baby shower story:

We left Friday around 5:45pm and arrived at about 11:45pm. We all instantly went to sleep. But I of course stayed up a little longer just to catch up with my mom. Emma (my mom) is old school so bf and I have to sleep in separate rooms :-) so as always I slept with her. So we stayed up a little longer just to chit chat and talk about the festivities and her unborn grandchild. Then we were knocked out lol.

Woke up Saturday morning and could honestly just fall right back to sleep . Everything was slated to start at 12 but of course I had to be fashionably late…plus I couldn’t get the pipe cleaners out of my locs so that was a little frustrating but Revelle and I got to the venue around 12:30. My mother is such a sap and almost cried trying to introduce us but she pulled through lol. I was able to see so many friends that I haven’t seen in a couple years or since HS graduation. It was great and some what emotional. Food was great, games were on point and HILARIOUS! Then came time to cut the cake…

a wonderfully tasting half and half cake with custard filling YUM-O but the left side had the color of the sex and what was it you may be wondering?!….

A BOY!!!! Exactly what I had been praying for since the beginning of time, for my first child to be a boy. If you don’t know I’m an only child but I have 2 younger and 1 older half sisters (papa was a rolling stone). I begged and begged my mother for a sibling specifically a brother (idky) but never got one lol. I always told myself that when I had children (3-4) that I would like for my 1st to be a boy so he could be the older, ‘get right’ brother for his siblings, something that I always wanted. And my prayer was answered. I didn’t cry because I kind of already knew plus 3 people kind of slipped and told me but tried to play it off lol.

#1 My godmother: she called me one day and asked, ‘So how’s the little guy?’

#2 My cousin: she called me and said, ‘Oh we know he’s gonna be smart.’

But the icing on the cake was #3 My grandmother: I called her after an ultrasound appointment and she said, ‘Did it change to a girl?’ Like come on g-ma…you can’t cover that up lol. But she tried. Boy did I burst their bubble at the shower and called them all out on their mishaps and my godmother & cousin tried to deny it lol….it was HILARIOUS. The whole room (about 80+ ppl) burst into laughter. But it was all good.

I think my biggest surprise though was right after cutting the cake. It was gift opening time and I honestly started crying. If you know me, then you know I’m not a crier (hard to say for a fellow Cancer lol). But I was just overwhelmed with emotion. I felt that Revelle and I are so blessed and loved and that our SON already is so loved and blessed. Just thinking of all things that Revelle and I have been through this past year and to see that so many people cared so much about us and making sure that our little one is taken care of just filled me with so much joy, I just burst into tears. Of course he made light of the situation by saying that I’m a sap. But I think he understood the source of my tears. My cousin unveiled all the gifts that were overflowing on, behind and the side of the table. Gifts just kept pouring in from a few latecomers…it was just amazing. Revelle whispered to me, ‘We are so blessed. We have so much stuff. I knew it would be a lot but not THIS much. AND we’re having a shower in Baltimore?! WOW!!!’ I couldn’t do or say anything but, ‘I know!’

We had no duplicates of ANYTHING! Even if we did, I’m not in the business of going to a store and returning/exchanging something that someone bought (that’s just me). At the end of everything, Revelle and I were both overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends that also just ADORE him (Revelle). 

Now one question I haven’t heard yet is would I do it again (of not knowing the sex). I’ll just answer it now. Since this is my first pregnancy I would do everything over. I enjoyed not knowing plus I’m kind of glad I didn’t know because after the baby shower we went to Children’s Place and bought $50+ worth of stuff. His closet would’ve been full before the shower even got here. LOL. Now for the next child(ren), I don’t know. I may just want to know but I was fine with not knowing. I may want to wait longer (delivery) before finding out the sex but who knows. I personally feel that there are few surprises in life; Rasheed’s conception was definitely one, but I’m ok with not knowing…Revelle not so much lol. We’ll cross that bridge when it gets here. 

We are so excited for the arrival of our son, Rasheed Langston. I hope he knows that he is extremely loved and he will have the best and happiest couple, who truly love each other, as parents. We are uber excited for our new roles as mommy and daddy. We’re excited for him to meet us and his family! No other words can describe how we feel…NONE!

Happy Belated Hallow’s Eve for those that celebrate. I personally don’t but it is fun to see people in their interesting costumes. So yesterday 10/31/2011 marked 30 weeks in this wonderful pregnancy and I have begun to FREAK OUT immensely.

I haven’t thought about labor not one bit but last night I had a dream that made me realize I’ve been avoiding this fear of mine. For those that know me, I can’t swim, so this dream really had me in another space when I woke up this morning.

Synopsis: I’m on this white water rapid ride like at Six Flags or Darien Lake but there were no tubes so you had to basically walk or doggy paddle your way through the ride. There were other people on the ride as well, my mom, one of my older cousins and their mutual friend. There was one part of the ride that was part of the ocean (or a larger body of water) but there were barriers in between the ride and this large mass of water. You could get through safely but if a wave crashed on you, it was possible you could go over the barrier. So what happens to me? A wave crashes into me and I go over the barrier. I feel like I’m beginning to drown. Water is filling up in my lungs and I just feel myself sinking. All of a sudden I feel something or someone start pulling me back up. Then I wake up! When I wake up it’s almost as if I was gasping for air as if I were still underwater. CREEPY!

I didn’t analyze the dream right away I just got up and started getting ready for work. My bf checked on me and asked me if I were ok and that he saw me struggling in my sleep. I explained the dream to him but that was pretty much it. But as my day went on, I just started thinking about EVERYTHING. Wondering if I’ve been eating correctly or that because I’ve been eating wrong that this will do something to the baby. I haven’t taken a childbirth education class so I don’t know any breathing techniques, labor positions or even what to expect from labor itself. I’ve been asking questions of friends who’ve had children like how do know when you’re in labor. And the general answer I’ve been getting is, ‘Oh, you’ll know.’ LOL that’s nice but that doesn’t really help me cope LOL

I just don’t want to get myself too worked up though. I spoke with mydoula/sistafriend and she’s helped me calm down a bit. I realize I just need to relax and really figure out what it is I’m confused, worried or have questions about. I know I’m not alone in feeling like this. I just don’t want to get on the delivery table and feel unprepared, go into a panic/asthma attack and start hyperventilating.

All will be well though. Pray for me ya’ll lol